A relationship with a mistress is a labyrinth of emotional pitfalls. Your heart can surge in a moment, only to be mutilated in the next.
She can vex you again, and again, until there is little heart left.
In the wake of her loss, you selfishly lean on your spouse; who can do no more than shake his head. You beg him to pick up the pieces your mistress left strewn about. But of course your spouse won’t help; he has no compassion for you. You asked for this. You returned to her. This is your choice.
But it is not a choice. It is a bond forged before even your first breath. You stood before God and vowed to stay with your spouse until death. But the vow you made to your mistress was made in silence – carved, not signed.
Her grip on you can be as icy as it is intoxicating.
You watch your family leave your home in pursuit of peace. You want to scream out to them. You long to close the gap your wanton desires have left. You press your face to the window and watch the car until it is merely a speck on the horizon.
You shake her out of your head. You stand in determination. You will not lose your family again.
You will no longer give and she will no longer take.
But as you move to leave, her seductive call reaches you. Please. Today will be ours. I will prove myself worthy. Today.
Your footfalls slow, become heavy. You train your eyes on the ground. Stay focused. Your family deserves you. Don’t let them down…
It’s too late. Her steely fingers wrap around you. You respond. Once more…don’t break my heart, you plead. Not again.
You face her with a mixture of caution and hope. Her gaiety and vibrancy pull you in. She will keep her promise to you. Your suffering is over. Today, everything will change. Your love – your devotion – renewed. With a deep breath you declare your acquiescence. Your heart soars. All is…
… the same. Your team loses. They play like elementary school children. Every bit of vitality they showed in the first quarter is a guise. Your heart lies in shambles once again. Your spirit is crushed.
Oh cold, pernicious mistress – I am forever yours.
*Dedicated to the San Francisco 49ers, my true loves – those bastards.